you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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