All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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