i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
