Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Mom said you looked used
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
