69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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