it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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