i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
thus making me awesome and them whores
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
