Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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