I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
