It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
