i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
