sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
