is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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