you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
