He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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