Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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