just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
