anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
