She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
