Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
