just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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