I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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