For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
