I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
