She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
