She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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