why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
