I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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