Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I could fuck to npr.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
