At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
