Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
