I wanna bring you to show and tell
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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