what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
operation have a gay friend backfired
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
