Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love having hate sex.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
