why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
