Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
