Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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