In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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