that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
