it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
