i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
