About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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