Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
