oh god the rape fog is back!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
