i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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