Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
