The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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