Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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