and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
