stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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