I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
